Sometimes, when one of my male friends who I enjoy having “fun” with, calls me round, I would rather have a night in by myself.

Is that strange?

I still love freelance writing, I enjoy working on this blog, I still enjoy some time alone after a full week (FYI, feels soooo good that I can say that!). Sex is great, but I just don’t find it to be the leading factor in my life. For someone in their 20’s, I wonder if that’s odd.

I know friends (many of whom are older then me) who still enjoy sowing wild oats, but I can’t help but feel that being in a committed relationship is the more satisfying option.

The question I find hard to answer is – how do we find the modern relationship?

Extra time at work is a given these days, especially when starting the career ladder, and added to that time with friends and all the other things we have to fit into a week, finding and maintaining a relationship seems like an impossibility.

And that’s before we get into the statistics of finding that someone. The person who not only acts as a friend, but makes you light up when you see them. I’ve been in a relationship before where I felt like I was just going through the motions, and although the simple pleasure of having someone else there for you can be worth it, I also know that next time I want more.

Yet once you find that someone who fits our individual criteria, how do we keep building that relationship? It seems that modern conveniences like the internet, social media and texting can often cause more harm than good and, ironically, can often stunt communication rather than making it easier.

It’s so easy to misinterpret.

Getting to know someone online is a prime example – many people I know (myself included) have exchanged messages with someone only to be disappointed by the true person when they meet in the flesh.

When using a dating app or online dating site we scroll through hundreds, sometimes thousands, of profiles. We search for what we think we might want – great body, high income, similar interests, whatever it happens to be – and really we’re spoiled for choice.

Maybe it was easier when we had to fight a little harder to find the right person?

Maybe we don’t realise how easy we have it?

Or maybe these hurdles which stand in our way are actually the new filtering system.

I mean, when you think about it, you can probably find half a dozen guys online right now who sound like your “perfect match”. But if you chatted with all 6 you’d probably only want to go on a date with perhaps 2 or 3. From there, in my experience there’s maybe only 1 you’d consider seeing again.

Perhaps the challenges of finding a fulfilling, mutually satisfying relationship haven’t changed, they’e only moved position. Sometimes the situation doesn’t need changed; it’s our perspective on it that needs altered.

Because, as the old saying goes, anything worth having is surely worth fighting for.


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