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For a long time now, I’ve thought I wanted to work in the fashion industry. I’m an artist and creative at heart – I thrive on pushing boundaries, generating ideas and completing multimedia projects.

I don’t want to put too fine a point on it, but a large number of people I’ve met in the industry have been self-indulgent arseholes who just live on their parent’s money while labelling themselves “entrepreneurs”.

More and more the work I’ve been doing in the industry has been moving away from that creative and artistic sensibility and more into a watered down and bland version. As one lady who I spoke to lamented “the accountants control everything.”

I agree that money dictates everything these days, but so much of what drew me to the industry just seems to be dying.

I attended a lecture at Selfridges this week, in which a lady from a design firm spoke. She showed us the projects they had done for medical and mobile phone companies, and it just hit me: they were more creative and artistic than anything I’d seen come out of the fashion industry and recent years.

The day after I had an article rejected from a fashion website. The new editor called my writing ’embellished’ and ‘too personal’. They wanted a dry, BBC-style news piece. I always thought the point of arts was to inject emotion and evoke a response. Who want to read just informative lines of text on a fashion website?

Instead of trying to copy someone else, why not break out and find your own voice?

It’s a bit jarring. I’m known to all my friends as someone who loves fashion and longs to work for a magazine or a brand. But now I’m not sure.

Do we break up with our career choices the same way we break up with people?

Has anyone else out there found this?

Like a relationship, sometimes we outgrow a career choice, don’t we? We learn that a person, place or even an industry are not what we want. One of us has changed, or outgrown the other. We’ve evolved and moved on.

Getting older we start to analyse ourselves. Who we are, what we want, what we plan to achieve in life. The thing I’ve learned is that we’re bombarded with career advice in school, but we’re never taught how to analyse ourselves. To really question what our desires are. Probably because so many of them are still suppressed in us as children and young adults.

Perhaps Step 1 to finding the dream career is not striving for the career we’ve always wanted, not the one our parents or our friends have forced (knowingly or otherwise) on us. Not the one society has dictated to us.Perhaps it’s taking a long, hard look at ourselves and our experience and asking that question we’re taught from infancy is just selfsh:

What do I want?

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