It’s been a long time that I’ve had someone I’m comfortable enough just to sleep with and mean exactly that. We just slept together. I’ve never had a friend like that I can feel so close with. No sex, nothing.

No matter that I was burning to reach over the space between us and touch him. Whether he felt the urge to do the same I’m not sure, but I think so.

It’s strange when you feel your feelings start to heighten for someone, your senses towards them become sharper. I notice his broad shoulders, his gentle eyes, his hairy chest. I notice how we make each other laugh. When he pulled his t-shirt off and lay bare chested beside me, a warm, comforting weight, I wanted so much to put my arms around him.

Sometimes it’s almost unbearable to see him with someone who can make him so depressed and unhappy. I will confess I’m not sure how or why they stay together through all the fights and disagreements, but I also know that the only 2 people who ever understand a relationship are the two people in it.

We were at a mutual friend’s party this evening and both confessed, after a couple of drinks, that we’d each fantasised about the other person.

Does this mean there’s a future for us as…a couple?

Or is it still better to just leave what we have as the most wonderful friendship I’ve ever had?

Is it better to keep your best friend, or is friendship the most solid foundation to hope for something more?

When I woke up and saw him sleeping next to me, all I could think about was how lucky I was to have him in my life.



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