Today I decided to take a trip to the beautiful Holland Park.
I messaged Tom to see if he wanted to join me, but heard no response. I don’t know if he just needs time alone or is now ignoring me. I decided, for now, I have to just pick up and move on.
I still want us to be best friends, but for now it seems like I’ve been cast as “the enemy” and am being shut out. His world seems to be narrowing to only Jim, and there doesn’t seem like he even wants me to be there for him.
When, really, I want to make sure he is OK.
He’s not the man I first knew, anymore. There only seems to be a shadow of that smiling, kind person left. He’s taken on all Jim’s problems and is so weighed down by them there hardly seems to be room for anything else.
As I sat in the soothing Kyoto water garden, all I could think about was how I want my best friend back.
But I also resolved that it’s time to start making headway into new places. If Tom’s world is going to narrow to this one relationship, I won’t let my world narrow to just him and all their problems.
I decided to go right back to basics.
When I first came to London I knew almost no-one, so I used websites like MeetUp to find interesting groups and parties to go to. I had some good times there, too. I have a clearer idea of who I am and what I want now, so out with the job and networking groups, and hello to some geeky gamers!
I sincerely hope Tom and I do stay friends, but I think it’s time my social circle in London widened again. I feel like as some of my friend’s worlds have narrowed, mine has two. And while it’s been great having this tight little foursome, this isn’t Sex and the City. This is the real world, and things change.
They change, even when we don’t want them to.
Maybe the change even turns out to be a blessing in disguise. Although in this case the disguise is very convincing.
But that just means you leave the film on the cutting room floor and move on.
I came to London because it is a city teeming with people and adventures. If a friend is not respecting and appreciating you, then you don’t stand for it – exactly the same way you wouldn’t stand for it in a relationship. With a friendship, particularly a close friendship, you hope that you can survive and move on.
And if you can’t?
You cut, print and move on.