Home

I was discussing my newfound man-crush with one of my best friend’s boyfriends. I explained my concerns regarding how you move from “seeing someone” to “in a relationship”, and whether it’s better to talk about it with the prospective partner or leave things alone to develop naturally.

His response was probably one of the single best pieces of relationship advice I’v e ever had:

“Don’t you dare have that talk with him. Just you keep sucking on it until he buys you a ring.” 

So, just keep sucking on it until he puts a ring on you. I’ve certainly had worse advice on relationships in my life. Suddenly, it seemed to make everything much clearer. 

What if relationships actually are that simple, and it’s our own projections, hopes, wants, fears, desires and insecurities which make them so hard. I’ve seen relationships ripped apart at the seems because one half misinterprets a text message, a Facebook post, a tweet. The tiniest things now, it seems, can plant the seed of distrust and make us feel like we are right back at square one. 

Is it actually much more simple than we’re making it? 

Does he, in actual fact, just want someone who’s going to suck on it without complaint? 

Which brings up to the topic of blowjobs. 

When Chris last stayed over, I woke up in the night unbelievably horny. Ducking under the duvet I took him in my mouth. Initially it’s lovely, but after a certain point it just becomes too much. I feel like there’s an entire pipe being rammed down my throat and it takes all my strength not to gag. How in hell is it supposed to last more a few minutes when it’s so big you can barely breathe? 

Does practise really make perfect, or is it just learning to live with it? 

If he is to become my man, I want to be able to please him. More than please him. I want to be the one who makes him groan with desire. The physical sides of relationships is something I explored relatively late, as for a long time I didn’t feel comfortable enough with my body to even think of letting other people near it – in some cases I’d be physically shaking as they tried to hold me. But with him I want it. I know it may be something I need to work on and get comfortable with, but I want to please him physically as well as in the other senses. Lord knows he pleases me. 

He takes his shirt off and I melt. I look at his strong rugby legs and I want to swoon. He envelops me in his tall frame and I don’t want to let him go. I want all of him. 

But how do you give a guy a great blowjob when it can be so damned physically uncomfortable? Is it supposed to be? 

Part of the joy of relationships, like travelling, is that as we discover more about other people I think we discover more about ourselves. But it seems there are also challenges in that exploration, challenges perhaps we feel we can’t even share to the other person. Challenges which echo far back into our pasts and what happened there, which can only be overcome by us.

So much of a relationship happens in our own heads, where the joy, the ecstasy and the fear are born.

But perhaps the secret to success is just letting all be as simple as it seems to be. 

Well, that and a good blowjob. 

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “Best friend’s boyfriend and blowjobs

  1. I with the other commenter — that line is so awesome. To me, a relationship is simple: when you want to stay in it, you make the effort to show up and care about the other person. If you let it get stale, then the relationship will suffer.

    About the blowjob… just focus on the top half of it — that’s where most of the nerve endings are. A deep throat is nice, but certainly not necessary. If you focus on the top part, it might be more comfortable for you. Just some advice from a blowjob receiver 🙂

    • I think you’re right. This guy does the special stuff – the thoughtful Christmas gift, the coming over when he knows I’m annoyed or stressed. You’re spot on with the effort thing; when they’re not interested, they’re not interested.

      And thanks for the blowjob advice!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s