Last night I had a hookup.

Openly, and from the start, he wanted me to come over, tie him to the bed and “have my way with him”. Feeling curious, and somewhat aroused by the thought, I went along.

After a minimal amount of chatting, and a back and fourth back massage, I strapped his wrists and ankles to the bed. Within the hour, I had him begging and blindfolded. Another hour and I’d made him cum.

And it was unbelievably hot.

I’d always had tying up fantasies, and we we progressed further, it was like all these feelings which I’d only lived inside my head were coming to the fore.  It was like a door opening into another world of lace and leather. Or a cute, sexy man bare chested in his pyjama trousers who was fulfilling some of my wildest fantasies.

After the fun, I stayed over and we cuddled. He talked about how he had been a player in the London fetish community for years – long, long before all the ridiculous 50 Shades hype. He gave me a crash course – in how ‘subs’ are trained, in how domination works with respect and protection. How the pain is symbiotic with the pleasure.

I had thought it would just be a steamy night of forbidden fetish fantasy, but I found myself wanting to see him again. I had so enjoyed dominating him, the sense of power and the lust-fuelled thrill was like a drug high I didn’t crash from until the next day.

But the morning after he tied me up and began giving me my first experience of domination too. I almost couldn’t believe that I was allowing someone to do it.  But it was an education, I’ll say that much. For one thing, I’ve never let a man put any part of him that far up my arse as his finger went.

But when he described subbing as ‘training’, I was intrigued. Isn’t training what we all do in our sex lives? Aren’t we all training to be better in whatever role we prefer? Perhaps the BDSM and fetish community is simply more honest about it.

I’m so intrigued to learn more about this new world, with a guy I like, but at the same time it feels like a diversion from the road I want to be on; finding a man I want to have a long-term relationship with. Is fetish play a decent diversion, or a waste of time?

And can you have a relationship with a man who owns a horse crop?


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