In a city where you can be fired tomorrow, spend your commute with a group of sweaty strangers, where charity is just another PR opportunity and a man can tell you it’s over with an instant message, it’s easy to get cynical.

Which meant I was somewhat apprehensive on going to the movies with my work colleague and fast-moving BFF Marina to see the new Disney version of Cinderella.

I’ve been in London almost 3 years; that’s enough time to subscribe to the “love is fiction” school of thought.

Like I said, easy to get cynical.

But you know what? I was entranced. It’s such a beautiful movie. And somehow, I just surrendered. I surrendered to it all. To her riding through the forest, meeting her handsome prince, living happily ever after. Somehow, it was the kind of film that just allowed me to dream again.

Dream that you’ll meet that perfect guy, and the romance will just be uncomplicated, simple and clean. That one day he’ll take you in his arms and, at last, you will finally be able to let your guard down and let yourself be rescued. That you’ll get to have one day of being loved and admired, and then a whole lifetime of freedom after to share with that one special person.

Somehow, after the film was over, I felt lonely.

When we haven’t achieved that fairytale ending, have we failed? We can rail and rant against it, I can pretend to be strong and cynical, but deep down somewhere I know I want it. I want the guy, the home and the happy ending. Somehow, a small part of be believes that somewhere, somehow, it will happen. That it can happen.

I was nursing Marina through a breakup she’d had earlier that day. Her and the guy both loved each other, but his work was taking him away long-distance for at least another year, and he didn’t know what his plans will be after that. She couldn’t put her life on hold until he decided.

It sounded like a fairy take romance, so why didn’t they get the ending?

Cinderella never had to do long-distance. If she had an iPhone, would she sit and obsess over every WhatsApp message Prince Charming sent? Would Cinderella have been more cynic or cyber slut?

Somehow, it feels like I’m both. Then I think what I want, and it seems like battling against simply insurmountable odds. Do we wait for the fairy tale to come alive, or do we settle for what we can get? I know I can never just “make do” with someone who doesn’t fire up that spark in me, which is why it’s so hard to find someone, and why I find it’s so rare.

Watching fairytales, we somehow believe it’s all possible again. I cant decide whether that’s good or bad.

Is it better to dream, or stay cynical?


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