You’ve helped me through so much and so many things. You were the first friend I made when, 4 years ago, I came to London unsure and unfamiliar. Through you I met some of the most amazing people of my life and you’ve always been someone I counted as being extremely close with.
All through that time I loved how we supported each other; I treasured your tart remarks and the way you’d say the truth even when people didn’t want to hear it. Even me. Sometimes, most especially me.
Which is why this latest truth cuts me to the core and has brought me more pain than I ever expected you to bring me. Now, I look at you in a different light.
Behind my back, you took the man I was seeing. Lewis called me today to say that it was all over and the two of you were now “serious”. This despite that you have a long-term boyfriend that you love. One evidently wasn’t enough, you’re now “polyamorous”, as I understand it.
Your drive to go after what you wanted was always something I admired about you. I just didn’t ever think that would be the man I was dating. The man you introduced me to. That first night at Show Off as you watched us flirt and begin to fall for one another. Did you watch our burgeoning romance with jealousy? Did you really have to take something from me just because it was making me happy?
But I suppose the question I most want to ask is: Why?
You, who helped me through break-ups and heartache. You, who I could always be open with. I hold friendship sacred and I thought you did too. Franciscus, you simply don’t go behind a friend’s back and take a person away. Someone you know I liked. Someone who was there to support and help me after I was unfairly fired and trying to pick up the pieces of my professional life. I admit, over the past few weeks, Lewis was there as someone to hold me, a much-needed shoulder to cry on. And you snatched that from me like the greedy whore you are. Yes, I never thought I’d use that word against you in anything other than jest. You always wore it proudly. Do you wear it proudly now?
Who are you? I don’t know any more. I would never do something like that to you, or to anyone. As you well know, when a similar opportunity did present itself to me, I said “no”. Though my head and heart wanted him, though I thought we might make each other happy, I declined to give in to my feelings because he was with someone else. And it was the right decision. When you start a love by destroying someone else’s, eventually it will destroy itself.
I hope we can work this out and all find some way to be friends. From some of my earliest memories of London life you’ve been there; to sever ties with you would be to sever ties with so much I love. But that will depend now on how you feel you should behave in the aftermath of this. I can offer no guidance here, as you’ve gone down a road I would never consider traversing.
The stage is all yours. Just the way you like it.