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After a series of misfits and fails, today I saw a house in Shepherd’s Bush. And it was perfect. The bedroom was perfect. The beautiful open plan kitchen was perfect. The tall, handsome, muscled Scotsman sitting in the kitchen was perfect. He had the face of a boyish angel, and the body of a rugged adonis. His shoulders filled out his shirt, and I could see the strong definition of his muscles beneath. His Glaswegian accent was oddly charming, and despite his “girlfriend in Glasgow” I felt myself breathless with desire for him.

Sitting at the kitchen table I hoped soon to share.

When he showed me to the door, I swear there was a curiosity in his eyes. And even if there wasn’t, isn’t there something magical about that sort of friendship where the chemistry lurks just beneath the surface? Isn’t there something positively lovely about a housemate who you can catch as he steps out the shower in just his towel and think “Christ, he’s just fine.”

A definite improvement on the emaciated/obese spinsters of my current house share. Tired of life and tired of London and I’m tired of them.

And naturally the house itself was lovely too. Large, friendly, interesting. I’m so hoping I get it. And maybe living within a half hour’s walk from work would make it slightly more bearable. Perhaps living in West London will help me re-start this thing I’m meant to be doing with my life. I feel like I’ve slipped into a stagnation here. I think I’ve seen enough of the shit which inhabits East London. I think I’m ready to head out West and see what life holds there.

But oh my. Living in a house with a gorgeous man-god. Is that really the best decision? One with a girlfriend in Glasgow? One who I had to physically stop myself from leaping on him and taking him roughly on the kitchen table just out of sheer lust?

It could all go horribly wrong, I’m not going to lie. I mean man alive part of me thinks I fell in love with the Scottish fellow just sitting there. Probably round about the time he put his hands behind his head and his biceps bulged outward.

I’ve also got a new job interview tomorrow, for a major online poker room. It could be my way out. It could be the end of my crazy boss, my mad team, all the stress and insanity of this agency life I thought I was ready for and thought I wanted but completely, entirely wasn’t. I love the world of poker. I love the world of gaming. Perhaps this could be the solution. Perhaps a nice house with friendly/unnervingly sexy housemates and a new job in an industry I’m genuinely interested in are just around the corner?

Perhaps my new start has already found me?

Please say that, somewhere just around the corner, there’s a new life waiting for me. I think I’ve had enough of this one.

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